The heart wants what it wants
by Unfound name
Summary: What happens when Marinette finally confesses to Adrien about her crush? How would she react to him rejecting her, for her? The process to recovery, that might just not lead to that. Hope this sounds better than I think, this is my first story so I hope you'll enjoy! Constructive criticism welcome, a work in progress.
1. The begining of change

Some of you'll might have read the chapter before this note because I've still familiarizing with the site, but now I know how to edit :D

Ayways... this is my first story, an akumitised one btw, so constructive criticism is sought.

I changed the rating from T to M because I'm paranoid but it's not much besides a bit of swearing in chapter two, but I will give warnings of certain stuff in later chapters so don't worry ;)

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It's funny how much things can change in one day...

Ladybug and Chat Noir had been partners for over a year,

Marinette had liked Adrien for over a year.

Who could have guessed it would result in a purple butterfly?

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

A couple of days before-

Thanks to Alya and Tikki's constant nagging, Marinette had decided today was the day she would confess to Adrien. She woke up an hour before school started feeling extremely nervous, she decided to wear a similar outfit to her usual attire as to not dress up for the possible rejection, well very high rejection (in her mind). She ate and bid goodbye to her parents before heading out, forty-five minutes before school would begin.

When she got there Alya was nowhere in sight _,_ _I can't do this, he's a MODEL there's no way he'll like plain old Marinette. We'd both be better off if he doesn't know._ Her phone rang with an incoming text, Alya: Hey girl, running a little late. But you still need to tell Adrien, no backing down! I believe in you! :-D Her text doesn't help my jitters, "Tikki I can't do this, what if he thinks I'm weird and has never said anything because he's a sweet, kind, amazing guy? What If what if..." Tikki interrupts her before she can go into a further ramble "Marinette you'll never know unless you tell him, your Ladybug, you've taken on citizens under Hawkmoths control, you can take on a crush." She concluded with a soft smile. "O..Ok Tikki thanks, I'll.. I'll go tell him now"

I walk up to Adrien, surprisingly not tripping over myself, "um A..Adrien ca..can I ta lk to you?"

"Hey Marinette" he says with that angelic smile of his "what's on your mind?" "I sorta have a massive crush on you" I mumble and see him straining to hear "Sorry Mari, didn't quite catch that" _This is it, now or never just say it fast, like pulling of a bandaid…_ "I LIKE YOU!" I suddenly blurt out. I see several different emotions cross his face, he looks a bit shocked at first, _probably cuz I screamed_ , and realization, then guilt?

"I'm sorry mar.."

"It's ok!" I cut him off "I.. I understand..," I saw it coming, yet it still hurt, a lot. "Mari wait!" He rushes to clarify "your amazing Marinette, your talented, brave, compassionate. It's just... I, I like someone else" he finishes with a sad smile. I know he's trying to be gentle, because that's the type of person he is, but it still stings. And I know it will do nothing to help, but I have to know "who?" I mumble weakly fighting the tears that are building up in my eyes. He hesitates for a moment before breathing out a single name, that as I had expected, made the rejection much worse, but also didn't? "Ladybug". I snap up and look at him, the remorse still etched on his face, before sprinting into the school with a quick " I gotta go". I can hear him yell out to me, but I don't stop, not until I reach the restroom. Locking myself in a stall I slide down the floor and start crying, Tikki flies out of my purse and nuzzles against my cheek, but I barely notice. My phone rings with another message from Alya, "hey girl I just got here, Chloe send me the video...Where are you?" I ignore it, and see I have another text, from Chloe. It's the video Alya was talking about, the rejection permanently captured. _The whole school has probably seen it by now_ , I read the rest of the message. "Hey Maritrash here's your rejection in glorious HD :) I don't know how you thought you had a chance with MY Adri-kens anyways, as if he'd ever go out with a loser like you. ESPECIALLY when he can have me instead, I'm way richer and prettier than you. Well can't waste more time talking to you, have fun in your pit of rejection! " I saw it coming, I knew this was going to happen, yet I still let them talk me into it _. And now Chloe has gotten it all around school_ , "WHY DID I LET YOU'LL CONVINCE ME TO DO THIS?!" I suddenly blurt out, then more quietly with my bawling turning into soft sobs "I should have known, I should have known, I should have known..."

So consumed in her grief, she doesn't hear the soft flutter of butterfly wings..

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Please review and thanks for reading :)


	2. uh oh, he knows

So first off, I'd like to thank all of those who reviewed, followed, and favorited seriously it made my day :)

Second, I apologize for errors or if it looks clustered. I'm still trying to familiarize with the site, and did most of it on my phone. So sorry if you read the chapter before I found out this section of editing and authors notes and revisited it.

Third- Sorry it took me so long to update, school had me all crazy and everywhere. But summers coming up so hopefully I'll have more time to write :)

I probably should have planned this story out better before I posted :/ so if you'll have any suggestions pleaseeeee drop them on the reviews or PM me .

I know you'll expected the akumatization to comencé but I figured I'd have more fun if I build it up XD,

well on with the show I guess, thanks for reading this long ish note

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Tikki noticed the akuma and promptly ate it before it could reach Marinette, we can't have Ladybug getting akumatized after all. She burps out the cleansed butterfly and quickly hides in her purse after hearing approaching foot steps.

Alya bursts in the restroom "MARI?! Are you in here?!" She hears the sobs and approaches the stall quickly. "Marinette? Mari hunny let me in please?" She says in a worried voice.

I snap back" NO! This is your fault! You kept on bothering me about my relationship with Adrien, you practically forced me to confess!" My voice wobbles as I continue "We.. we where friends..I.. i had gotten better. I barely stuttered, AND NOW?! Now it could all be ruined because of your stupid prodding! Just leave me alone!" I hear her take a sharp intake of breath, which sorta makes me feel bad. She was just trying to help, wasn't she? But before I can say anything she responds "If that's how you feel, fine" I unlock the stall and scramble out "Alya wait!" But she's already halfway out the door, and she doesn't look back.

Marinette slides down the now closed door, oblivious to Alya doing the same on the other side. After a couple of seconds Alya stands up and wipes the tears threatening to spill out and makes her way to their classroom, luckily class hasn't started yet. "ADRIEN AGRESTE!" The person at call jumps up with a start although Nino's the one that answers "Babe what's wrong? You need to calm down". Which was a BIG mistake because Alya snaps back "CALM DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO CLAM DOWN?! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS FUCKER DID?!" Nino doesn't retreat as much as others usually do since they have been dating for six months and is sorta used to it, instead he wraps his arms around her thrashing arms and whispers in her ear "No I don't, could you please explain? Maybe a bit quieter tho, the class is staring." She responds, her voice a bit lowered but still obviously pissed "Happens, that this child made my Marinette cry!" Except she says the word 'child' with such venom, that even a snake would shrink away in fear. Adrien looks up at that "cry? I mean she left but she wasn't crying.." the guilt printed on his face is obvious, but before he can say anything else Alya responds "OF COURSE SHE WASN'T! Marinette is so selfless, she wouldn't want you to feel bad so she waited until you weren't there!". As soon as she finishes that sentence Chloe walks in and makes her way to Adrien as usual, but Alya grabs her by her arm before she can. " What do you think your doing?! I am the mayors daughter, a simple peasant like you doesn't have the right to touch me!" Before she could get further in her rant Alya quickly lets go only to yank her by the hair " WHAT DID MARINETTE EVER DO TO YOU?!, You bully her more than you do anyone else and then you have the obscenity to send the video to the whole school?!

At that moment the teacher walks in " Ok class today we're going to be... ALYA what are you doing?!" Ms. Bustier rushes up to Alya and Chloe and try's to separate the girls, finally with the help of Kim and Nino, the girls are held apart. "What is the meaning of this?!" asks the teacher. Alya is the first to answer " THIS SPOILED BRAT THINKS SHE CAN DO ANYTHING SHE WANTS JUST BECAUSE HER PRECIOUS DADDY IS MAYOR AND OBUSES HIS POWER FOR HER!" Chloe is quick to retort "THAT'S A LIE! YOUR JUST JEALOUS YOU'LL NEVER BE AS RICH AND BEAUTIFUL AS ME!"

Alya tries to tackle her but Nino holds her tight, "Both of you, go to the office, NOW." Ms. Bustier says, "Kim, escort them will you."

Once they leave and the activity is explained, Adrien turns to Nino with a conflicted expression. " Nino, I.." he is interrupted by Marinette quietly opening the classroom door, she sneakily makes her way in and takes her usual seat. He turns to her and sees her eyes are red... as if she had been crying "Marinette, are you.." "I'm fine!" She interrupts before quickly getting up and making her way to the back of the room where she sits in the empty seat next to Nathanael.

Adrien p.o.v.

I see her lay her head on the table before I turn back around to talk to Nino "What do I do? I mean.. Ugh don't want to see her like that, but" Nino answers " It's Marinette, you know how sweet she is just, give her some time." I answer with a frown "Exactly, she's nice to everyone, she doesn't deserve to be sad because of me..." He answers after a pause "Well she has been crushing on you for like a year, so it might take a while, but don't worry, she'll get there" I hope she gets there, wait a YEAR?! "Nino what do you mean a year?! Why didn't you ever tell me?!" Nino slightly recoils "Well.. for one Alya swore me to secrecy, and second it's not my fault your so oblivious. Seriously man, like the whole class knows." The whole class knows? I really messed up.

Marinette p.o.v.

I walk into the classroom with caution, I don't want the teacher to see me and get in trouble for being late, this days bad enough as it is. I don't really want to be close to Adrien or Alya or Chloe right now, but I can't just move out of my seat, Ms. Bustier will surely notice that. I get to my seat and see I don't have to deal with Alya and Chloe where are they? Unfortunately Adrien's still here, I don't think I can stand talking to him without doing something I might regret. So I interrupt him and go to the back of the room where I sit next to Nathanael and put my head in the table with a sight. I don't know why I thought I could handle telling him. After a couple of minutes I feel a light prod on my arm and look up to see Nathanael looking at with concern. "Hey.. are you ok Mari? I saw what happened and.. I just want you to know I'm here for you, if you need anything ok?"

So I know Nathanael had a crush on me, but I don't know if he still does. But is it bad that I like the idea of him being there for me just because of today's events? Probably.

"Thanks Nath", I see him slightly blush at the nickname. Maybe I'll be able to make it through the day If I hang with him?

In a dark 'cave' with several white butterflies

So the Dupain-Cheng girl is LadyBug.. and she's heartbroken. How convenient

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So, again thanks you for reading :)

As previously mentioned I need some help with this since it's my first story and all. Mainly I'm asking for possible akuma names, outfit, and powers for Marinette. Again I can't thank you'll enough :)


	3. Akuma?

Sorry this took so long and on top of that is a short chapter, I have had this chapter 'ready' for a bit but hadn't gotten around to uploading it because of computer issues. Thank you for being patient :)

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Marinette pov:

Adrien and Alya had tried to approach me throughout the day, but I just dragged Nathanael with me and away from them. He didn't seem to care, just looked a bit... concerned.

Maybe he was still crushing, poor Nathanael.

~after school at Marinette's house~

I lay on my bed thinking about today's events after having completed all my homework, chores, and tearing down my posters of Adrien.

But I can't hold it in anymore, I start crying again and Tikki tries to console me for a while, but soon she retreats to her little bed behind my desk.

After a couple of minutes I hear a knock on my terrace window, I check the clock and it reads nine P.M. The only person that'd be able to reach my balcony is me as Ladybug, and Chat. I consider just leaving him out there, after all why's he here now? But I unlock the hatch after he knocks again, letting him come in by himself, and huddle back underneath my blankets and cat pillow.

"Hello Purr-incess"

"What are you doing here?" I ask before he can say anything else "I was in the neighborhood and figured I'd visit my princess, can't blame a cat for that can you?"

I guess, but you only ever 'checked' on me a couple of times the week after the Evillustrator incident, why are you suddenly here now? I just murmur "I'm not yours" instead though, but thanks to his cat ears, he hears me. "Hmmm, maybe not, but as your knight in shining leather I think you should at least tell me why your crying". I tense up, of course he noticed, my eyes are probably all red and blotchy, but should I really tell him?

"Come on Mari, who did this to you?"

Well, I know he's trustworthy, but he doesn't really know Marinette. Yeah he knows ladybug the adored and loved confident hero; but that's not who he's talking to right now.

I realize with a start he has his arms around my shoulder in a side hug, when he'd get there? I try to push him away but he pulls me sideways to where my face is in his chest. "You can tell me anything you know" he murmurs stroking my hair. Which just triggers the tears to come back.

Adrien's P.O.V

I fell her shaking while she cries and feel a couple silent tears slide outta my eyes too, she's going through this because of me. I wipe away my tears and just hold her, whispering (hopefully) consoling words in her ear while stroking her hair. I close my eyes and rest my chin on her head, but then I hear a faint flutter.

I look up and see a black butterfly making its way towards the cat pillow next to Marinette. I quickly pull Marinette away from me, leaving her safely on the bed, before lurching forward and catching the butterfly between my claws.

I don't know what to do with it, but I know I can't let it touch my princess, so I impulsively call upon my Cataclysmic and watch the butterfly disintegrate.

Marinette's P.O.V.

I feel Chat set me down and lurch forward, I wipe my tears away and see him catch something in his claws, an akuma, he hesitates for a minute but then summons Cataclysm.

I watch in horror as the ashes of the butterfly fall from his hands onto my floor "you.. YOU KILLED IT" I stumble forward and land on my knees next to the remnants, good thing my parents went to sleep early or they would've surely heard that.

He flinches but holds his gaze on me "I couldn't just let it get to you Marinette, you were going to be akumatized!"

I guess he's right, what would Paris do without Ladybug to purify the akuma? But it's not like he knows I'm her...

"But it was just as much a victim as the people" I say, but then I look down and see that it's slowly reconstructing itself. "Umm.. C..Chat" I point at the floor, " I take it back, I don't think it's dead".

He looks down just as the butterfly completely reconstructs, and starts to make it's way to me. I shuffle backwards fearfully until my back is against the side of my bed and watch as the butterfly flutters up to my face.

I close my eyes and wait to hear the cold voice of Hawkmoth... but it doesn't come. I look up and see Chat has caught it in a jar that had previously been full of old material scraps. Will that last? I stand up and take the jar out of his hands to examine the creature.

I find that it's not black, but a very dark purple with lighter purple streaks. The butterfly tries to slip out and with a yelp I throw the jar back at Chat.

Luckily he catches it "I should get going princess, M'Lady and I have patrol later today. I should get this to her before it gets away again." After fixating the Akuma back in the jar he leaps out the trap door and into the night.

I sit on my bed as Tikki floats up to me, "Marinette, I know your sad, but we can't have Ladybug be Akumatized! What if Chat hadn't been here?!"

"I know Tikki, it's just, it hurts... a lot." She looks exasperated as she answered "But he said he liked Ladybug, that's you!" She doesn't get it " Tikki he didn't fall for the real me me! I'm not that brave heroine he sees on T.V., that person is just a facade."

"Marinette you need to stop being so doubtful of yourself!"

" Chat's heading to patrol, we should too" I say to try and end this conversation, "You can't run from your emotions you know "

I can sure try though "Tikki, spots on!"

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I admit, I've been lazy but hopefully I'll finish the next chapter soon and be able to upload it. Considering school ended about two weeks ago and I still haven't uploaded shows how I didn't really think before I first uploaded XD But, I am officially a highschooler, more stress here I come. anywaysss sorry enough about me:

I wasn't really satisfied with the way the ending of this chapter was structured so please feel free to leave me any more suggestions in the reviews.


	4. Is it a date?

***slowly comes out of the dark corner* Heyyy, soo its been a while. Not gonna lie I got lazy and unmotivated, you see, it was summer and I had nothing to do so I finally tried anime and hey, some are pretty good. So got distracted with that, but at some points I did have literally NOTHING to do. So why didn't I work then you ask? well I sorta knew where I wanted this fic to go when I started but then I tried something and now I don't know how to get back there, I guess I just tried to incorporate too many ideas in one story. plus with all the other fics I've read I feared I'd subconsciously copy someone's work or that my story wouldn't be original/interesting enough for people to want to read. why is it taking so long for me to write this authors note? Anyways I stated school two weeks ago, IM IN HIGHSCHOOL! AHHHHHHH! and the school I chose, I realize now it seems to end up being very difficult. You know what, enough of my blabbering excuses and stuff, oN wItH tHE StOrY!**

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After the transformation I jump out my balcony similar to Chat did and make my way to the Eiffel Tower for patrol.

I feel slightly bad for forcefully transforming like that, but I really did have to get to patrol, even if that's not the only reason I transformed.

I reach the tower and see Chat standing against the railing while studying the jar in his hands.

"What you got there?" I ask feigning curiosity. He leaps back with a yip but manages to keep the jar in tack. "M'Lady, didn't hear you approach."

He swiftly puts the jar down and plants a kiss on my knuckles before picking up the jar and re-standing. "How are you this fine day bugaboo?"

"Fine" I answer trying to hide the pain, " but the escaping akuma, where'd you get it from?".

"Escaping Akuma?" Chat asks looking down at the jar "ugh again? Buginette could you do your thing on this nasty thing before it gets away?"

After having cleansed the akuma and making sure there was nothing out of the ordinary in the city they meet back up at the Notre Dame.

They sit in silence, both deep in thought about today's occurrences. Chat clears his throat, drawing ladybug away from her thoughts as she turns to face him. "You remember the girl I worked with during the Evillustrator incident? Her name is Marinette, and well you see I know her, even if she doesn't really seem to like me, as a civilian. She seemed upset today, so I stoped to check on her before patrol... and well, she was almost akumatized."

Wait back up, Chat knows me as a civilian?! But who do I know that has blonde hair and green eyes? And I don't like? Wait, STOP I'm not supposed to find out his identity.

"M'Lady?" Asks chat in a slightly worried tone "you ok?" "Hmm oh yeah sorry, but good thing you were there then, you prevented an akumazation." I say.

~The next day~

"MARINETTE, WAKE UP!" Says the little red goddess. "Hmm tikki, why?"

"Come on Marinette, your going to be late for school!"

"School? Ugh do I have to go?" I answer sitting up, not feeling ready to face everyone again,especially not Adrien.

"Come on Marinette, you can't let something like this hold you back!"

With a grumble I stand up to get ready knowing I won't be able to miss school. After I take care of my bathroom routine I look at my closet to find my outfit for today.

I don't really feel like going so I might as well dress convertibly. I choose out some grayish/black sweatpants that have three green paws I had added when designing Chat Noir inspired clothing, and pair it with a white shirt that has a small cat head over the spot above my heart. It seems fitting, after all he was there for me last night.

I realize I only have ten minutes left before school starts so I quickly throw my hair in a messy bun. I slip on some black flats, grab my bag-pack , and a simple black bag for Tikki to hide in. I leave home with five minutes to spare and quickly make my way to school.

I slip into the classroom and take a quick survey of the room, everyone is in their usual spots. I see Alya and Adrien sit up higher when they see me, both opening their mouth to talk. But I rush over to Nathanael desk before they can utter a word. I sit down just as the bell rings.

"Hi Marinette" greets Nathanael as the teacher comes in. "Hey Nath" I respond.

The rest of class seems to go by ok, better than yesterday at least. But then it's time for lunch, I sit with Nathanael under a tree that provides enough shade for the both of us. At first it goes by well, with me and Nath talking about my designs and his drawings, he really is a talented artist. I brought some croissants and a salad. Nathanael brought a sandwich and some chocolate mousse. He gives me a piece of his sandwich in exchange for some croissants and we share the mousse.

I see Alya, Nino, and Adrien approaching "great" I murmur under my breath. I look down and try to look nonchalantly while picking at what's left of my salad. "Hey Mari" starts Alya " what's up?" I don't answer "Um Marinette would you mind if i talk to you for a minute, in private?" Says Adrien. "Yes" I answer in a low voice "what?" He asks confused " I would mind" I answer in a louder voice, but not enough to draw attention. I don't know where I got the guts to talk back to Adrien like that, but somehow I did.

"Mari.." but before he can finish what he was going to say Nath interrupts him "She said she didn't want to talk right now, so you'll should go." We all look at him in shock, I spoke up to Adrien, but I do to other people too. Nathanael on the other hand, had always been quite and shy.

Alya looks like she's about to lash out, but Nino grabs her arms, "Come on guys, we should give her some space" he says as he drags her away and throws a look of concern my way. Adrien looks like he's about to say something else, but follows after them nevertheless.

I turn back and look at the redhead next to me "Thanks Nath" I tell him earnestly. He blushes as he answers "No problem", the bell rings at that moment. We pick up our stuff and head inside, my next class is science and Nathanael has art a couple of rooms down. Unfortunately that means I'm stuck with Alya, Nino, and Adrien for the rest of the day.

We make it to my room and as I'm about to step in Nathanael stops me with a gentle tug on my wrist. "What's wrong?" I ask him, he looks down with a blush "um would you mind, I mean if It's ok, you see.." I hear the warning bell ring, we only have a minute before class starts "yes Nathanael?" I say with an encouraging nod. He looks up and seems to compose himself "would you like to go with me somewhere after school, like to get ice cream or go to the park or something?"

Well it's not like I have anything better to do, it's Friday so usually I'd hang with the gang, but well, that's out the window. "Sure, meet me at the front of the school after classes?" He looks up mildly surprised, "yeah ok, sure".

"You should head to class before your late" I tell him as I start to enter the classroom "oh right, see you Mari!" He says as he starts rushing down the hallway "Bye Nath" I say with a backhand wave.

That's right, I still have to get through the rest of the day. I think

with a frown, and I know this teacher won't let me get away with switching seats so I have to sit with Alya. Unsurely I make my way to my seat, avoiding eye contact as I pass Nino and Adrien, I sit just as the bell rings.

"Today we're going to be doing a pre lab for tomorrow's activity. You'll be in groups of four, the table behind you will be your members." Says the teacher as she passes out the worksheets.

Me and Alya are in the last table of our row with Nino and Adrien in front of us, just my luck. The guys bring their chairs to our table so it is now Adrien in front of me with Nino in front of Alya. I look down at the assignment and realize it's not as easy as I thought it would be.

"Hey do you'll want to go hang at the park after school?" Alya asks the group. "Sure" replies Nino " I don't seem to have anything on my schedule today" says Adrien.

They turn to look at me with hopeful expressions, I look at the board as I answer "I already got plans". They look at me with mixed expressions but Alya is the one that responds "what type of plans?" "None of your business plans" I snap back. I don't see their reactions as I look back at the paper and start filling out some of the questions.

"Mind me asking with who?" Asks Nino, well technically he didn't do anything. He's just mostly taking their side, is there sides? So I answer looking only at him "Nathanael", he looks a bit surprised and when I look to my side I see she is too, Adrien on the other hand looks bothered.

I don't see why though, I mean what is it to him what I do? "Can we hurry up and finish this." I ask while I do my best to answer the more difficult questions. We work mostly in silence from there until finally the bell rings. I quickly pack my stuff and start heading to my next class, somehow I manage to finish my classes with minimal effort so I head out to the front of the school.

I see Nathanael waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and make my way to him. "So where to artist?" I ask after he greets me. "Artist hmm? Ok how about the ice cream parlor across the park?"

He says with more confidence than he had after lunch, well more confidence than I've seen him have really.

"Sounds good to me" and with that they make their way to the park, oblivious to the three pair of eyes trained on them.

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 **Soo yeah, that's all I have so far, hopefully going back to school will give me back my self responsibility? well i'll try to write more often since apparently people still liked it? (Thanks to those new subscribers :) you'll helped me shame myself to uploading) but that also means finding the time between school work to write, do you'll know when I get home? six, SIX PM! I leave home at 7 am, and get home after six pm! (bus takes long :/)ok yeah you'll probably don't care, sorry. umm yeah, again, reviews greatly appreciated and sooo many thanks to those that have been here so far, love sent you way 3 3 :))))))))**


	5. ANNOUNCEMENT

*Shyly walks out of the darkness.*

Soooooooo... as you can see I am alive.

And I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry I haven't updated this story in forever. For a while it was because of school work, it wasn't very smart of me to finally start a story as i was entering a new school. Then it was because as I read more and more fanfics my confidence in my writing abilities diminished. And then i was just too worried about uploading after such a long absence.

But right, y'all probably don't want some lame excuses, bottom line- I feel as though my writing skills have improved significantly this school year. Meaning, I especially don't like this story now. However, the customer is always right, so I need y'all to tell me. What is it you want? Continue the story from where it is now, rewrite it and then continue, delete it all together and focus on giving y'all other stories?

or any other thoughts/suggestions you have.

Thank you for being understanding!


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